Na Na Karte…

And… I’m back. On NaBlo. And very sure I won’t be here too long. And this ‘surety’ is derived out of knowledge and not pessimism.

So this month’s theme is green. To the uninitiated, I have to post on my blog every single day of this month, around this theme. Which shouldn’t be too difficult since there are plenty of things I can relate to the word green. Like, trees. Or jealousy. The hulk. Hey.. and grinch. So well, I ain’t scared of running out of things to talk about here; I’m terrified about running away myself, far from the reach of my laptop! I won’t be in town the coming weekend, and hence, I’ve failed NaBlo already. Maybe I’ll post in advance or something. But as for now, something green. Hmm.

My towel is green, with black kajal splotches. I hope this counts.

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The Bucket-List

After two months of lying in coma, my poor laptop’s come back home to mama. How I spent these two months, looking at my comatose darling all these days, taking it to doctors all over the town, waiting for weeks on end to hear from them about my poor baby’s prospects of revival- no one will ever know. To add insult to injury, I had to resort to taking help from others, friends, nonetheless, but still, others. The days of self-sufficiency seemed so distant, my morale had never been lower; I’d never been more on someone else’s mercy like I had everyday, for the last two months.

Though the tough times are past, and I get to hold my sweetheart in my arms again, I can’t dismiss this nagging fear that the tumor will grow back. And if it does, this time it might be malignant. Time’s always too short to take it for granted. And therefore, I’ve started making a list of all those things my lappy-poo and I will be doing together till a motherboard crash does us apart. From now on, whatever little or more time we have left together, I will make sure we’re always together, doing great things together.

I’m making the bucket-list, for my laptop.

Thanks, but no thanks.

The irony is, you seldom acknowledge and appreciate the people and things that are ALWAYS there for you; it’s those people and things that you don’t expect to happen to you that leave their mark.

The goodness of the constants in your life pales in comparison to the shock/present surprise value of the ‘new’ things.

The  ‘you’re awesome’ from a close friend is just blah; a ‘you’re passable’ from a stranger is the best compliment ever.

How wrong is it, to give in to the temptation of belittling all the genuineness of the known people while lapping up a fake/half-hearted/perhaps true compliment from the stranger? And how easy it is then, to thank these always-have-been-there-and-always-will-be-there people from heart, EVERY SINGLE TIME?

I’m still trying to figure out the answers, ’cause I’m the ‘you’ here.

The Ultimatum.

The thing most heartbreaking is not failures, not separations, nor global warming. It’s watching the most pathetic celluloid adaption of your most beloved books/anime series. Mere (extremely disappointing) reviews of some such movies have affected my ‘impressionable young mind’ indescribably, and have left me heartbroken even when I have not watched these movies myself. How could I, after all, when I am still recuperating from the bad review induced heartbreak? When I’m still nursing my near-fatal injuries inflicted upon by these horrific adaptations, when I’m still trying to soothe my wounded heart and giving it hope in vain? As if the Twilight series wasn’t a kick in my face hard enough, M. Night Fuckin’ Shyamalan comes along and spoils my second most favorite anime series of all times- The Last Airbender. No, I’ve NOT seen it, I’m not reviewing it. I don’t have the heart to. Not after the disastrous casting I came to know of through IMDB. Really? Dev Patel as Zuko? Really?? I can’t go on talking about this could-have-been-as-awesome-if-not-more ‘movie’. Do the world a favor, M. Night Fuckin’ Shyamalan, go die. Slowly and painfully.

I’m without hope these days. I’m distraught. I’m the damsel in severe distress, waiting for my k’night’ in shining armor, aka ‘Inception’ to come along this weekend and save me. But if someone as much as tries making a non-animated Naruto movie AND doesn’t do it justice, don’t think even ‘Inception’ kind of movies can do damage control and then ‘someone’s gonna get a hurt real bad’. You know what, oh M. Night Fuckin’ Shyamalans of the world? Don’t even dare try touching my Naruto-kun.

The Nightmare

I woke up last night. It was pitch black. It was the kind of darkness I’d never experienced before- so complete and so frightening. It was incredible, the way I felt lost in that total darkness. I wanted to look over to my roommates, to see them sleep noiselessly in their own beds, take comfort from that knowledge, and go back to sleep. Yet, it was impossible to do so. There was not a ray of light around. I had no way of being sure if I was in my familiar surroundings anymore, if I was around familiar people anymore. It was scary, it was terribly lonely, and horribly depressing. I wanted to call out to my roommates to make sure they were still there. But it was a silly idea of course. What was I to say, after I woke them up?- “I’m scared”?

I lay down on my bed for a long time, staring at nothingness. It was like being trapped in Tousen’s bankai, only that I could at least hear. I heard myself breathing. But strangely, I heard only me. My roommates sure slept soundly. I felt this sinking feeling growing in my chest.. I was ALONE. I was very positive about the presence of monsters under my bed. I was paralyzed with fear and no matter how badly I wanted to get up and feel my way over to my nearest roommate, I couldn’t move. It was the worst feeling anyone could ever experience. It was the worst feeling ‘I’ had ever experienced. And then suddenly, in some twisted way, I was at peace. I felt that odd calm I’d never felt- life had always had some sound around me. Things and people were always loud, always making noise and never leaving me alone. At that point in time, I perhaps got that one subconscious wish I didn’t know I had made- to be left alone.

I’m yet to wake up.

Chip of the old block

Every time I stop doing something I ”claim” to be good at, the whole ‘block’ theory comes to my rescue. Say, if someone asks me, why haven’t you updated your blog in months? “Writer’s block. Duh.” Or, “Did you finally finish that Zen and the art of motorcycle blah blah, yet?” “No man, serious reader’s block.” “Finished your part of assignment?” “Assignmenter’s block. No, really!” You get the drift.

So suddenly, when yesterday a familiar craving arose and made me restless to the point of overcoming my eater’s block and consuming double the amount of midnight snacks I consumer otherwise, I was shocked. I mean, how else can you expect a person to react on acknowledging this craving, when she couldn’t even remember the password AND the login ID to her blog (even when she claims to be an avid blogger), and hasn’t tweeted in more than a month (even when she pretends to be this twitter goddess. Okay, she must stop overrating herself)? Me, I didn’t know how to react. So, I just decided to strategize my next blogging moves with gusto while torturing my guts-o. Heh. Feels good to be writing witty things again. What?

Maybe I should take this slow, this whole back to blogging world thing. No one’s waiting really, I don’t see the red carpet rolled at my feet, and there’s definitely no drum-rolls. Yet. Except for this really irritating “chik-chik-chik-chik-chik” sound some weird ass creature makes EVERY night at 12 a.m. in our bathroom. I know what humping lizards sound like, so that’s pretty much ruled out here. Is it the crickets? Which is ironic considering how it’s the football season, not the cricket season. Geddit? 😉 See what I was talking about?!

Anyway, I guess I should take it slow. Maybe slower than one does the morning after the night of inebriated mishaps. So well, I’m like this really wasted MBA final year student, whose excuse for not being able to ‘manage’ a single personal blog is the drunkard’s block, which in my case is.. that’s right.. the blogger’s block!

I see I’m back to square one. At least an MBA in Marketing is teaching me how to faff to save my ass, if nothing else! See ya when I see ya, oh non-existent readers of this blogpost!

P.S. Don’t try to correlate the title of this post to the actual content. I just wanted to accommodate the b-word there as well 😛

Your Memory Remains..

One of my dearest friends passed away today, Oct 21, 2009, in a bike accident. A part of me died with him. I’m just letting words pour out the way these tears are pouring..

Here’s a final ode to you dearest one, from your Shu.

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It’s almost funny how we met the first time

I’d spotted you in a hall-full of crowd

And yes, I’d seen only a pic of your on Orkut before

You were so shocked to know, and I was so proud!

 

Remember when you fell ill in Mysore?

I’d given you a chocolate to make you feel better

You gave me that trademark blank look and didn’t even share

But it’s ok, since you gave a lot more chocs later

 

And remember all those bike rides in Pune?

I was your permanent pillion

Even though you scared me with your driving skills at times

Sitting on your bike was always fun

 

You had such faith in me, it was incredible

You let me drive your bike even when I didn’t know how to

And you told me never to tell your other best friend D

‘Cause when he wanted to touch your bike, he’d not been allowed to

 

You remember that meal you cooked me that Diwali?

It was awesome, and I was jealous you were the better cook

And all those times you beat me in Boggle?

I wanted to tear off those pages right off the notebook

 

You won, I lost

You won, I lost

The Diwali Meal you cooked

The Diwali Meal you cooked

 

Then one day you gave away your dearest possession

Your Boggle set, to me on my birthday

I hated you then for it

And I hate you for it even today

 

Your boggle.. now safe with me

Your boggle.. now safe with me

And then things fell apart, our lives changed

I left ’cause I had to

But every time I pretended not to care

I was only wishing the best for you

 

Every time you asked me, ‘Are you alright, Shu?’

I’d think, What’s your problem, just let me be!

But you wouldn’t,  and would pester me to share my sorrows with you

Come back now, I’m so sad today.. can’t you see?

 

Can’t you see from up there? Please come back now, Vishnu…

I miss you so much 😥

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