Exo

This short post is dedicated to ‘Exo’- my green colored liquid ‘dish shine’, that cost me only 19 bucks when I’d bought it a year ago and is still one-third left. It has, time and again, come to my tea-mug’s rescue and has helped clean its bacteria/yeast/mould/whatever infected, stale, frozen, tea/coffee remnants with incredible effectiveness.

For time is the luxury I can’t afford, being an MBA student and all that (COUGH! Sorry, allergy), it so happens at times(read, MOST times), that I just can’t finish all the tea and have to postpone the mug cleaning to a later day. Usually, that later ‘day’ becomes ‘week’, and then ‘weeks’ and then.. you know, ‘things’ grow in the mug. But for Exo, I’d have thrown all those mugs out.

You’re my lean, green, disgusting froth killing machine, Exo! May you clean my mess up for as long as you live!

Go… Green…

Yep, that’s almost exactly what I told the devil of a bumblebee (“Go die, you green devil!”) who stumbled into our room today evening. As if on cue, it tottered into the loo and died in the commode. Which is when I realized that there were more of its clan members who’d followed my command before I’d even given it, and already gone and drowned themselves into the commode.

Life would have been so much easier if people also paid attention to my ‘Go… green…’ command.

Na Na Karte…

And… I’m back. On NaBlo. And very sure I won’t be here too long. And this ‘surety’ is derived out of knowledge and not pessimism.

So this month’s theme is green. To the uninitiated, I have to post on my blog every single day of this month, around this theme. Which shouldn’t be too difficult since there are plenty of things I can relate to the word green. Like, trees. Or jealousy. The hulk. Hey.. and grinch. So well, I ain’t scared of running out of things to talk about here; I’m terrified about running away myself, far from the reach of my laptop! I won’t be in town the coming weekend, and hence, I’ve failed NaBlo already. Maybe I’ll post in advance or something. But as for now, something green. Hmm.

My towel is green, with black kajal splotches. I hope this counts.

The Bucket-List

After two months of lying in coma, my poor laptop’s come back home to mama. How I spent these two months, looking at my comatose darling all these days, taking it to doctors all over the town, waiting for weeks on end to hear from them about my poor baby’s prospects of revival- no one will ever know. To add insult to injury, I had to resort to taking help from others, friends, nonetheless, but still, others. The days of self-sufficiency seemed so distant, my morale had never been lower; I’d never been more on someone else’s mercy like I had everyday, for the last two months.

Though the tough times are past, and I get to hold my sweetheart in my arms again, I can’t dismiss this nagging fear that the tumor will grow back. And if it does, this time it might be malignant. Time’s always too short to take it for granted. And therefore, I’ve started making a list of all those things my lappy-poo and I will be doing together till a motherboard crash does us apart. From now on, whatever little or more time we have left together, I will make sure we’re always together, doing great things together.

I’m making the bucket-list, for my laptop.

The day it finally happened..

I couldn’t hold the feeling anymore. I went downstairs, looking for him. He knew I’d been watching him everyday in the park now, and not-so-subtly at that. He seemed to acknowledge my presence, but I couldn’t be sure. I was going to find out today what he thought. No more subtlety, it was time go offensive.
He had spotted me when I was still far away, and kept looking at me as I walked up to him. I thought I saw a faint smile spread across his face.

Me(slightly stammering): Hi, I think my roommate knows you and told you about me.
Him(looking amused): Yeah, she did. I think you wanted to talk me long before today, right?
(I blushed, he continued)
Tell me..
Me: (Pointing down him where he was sitting)- Can I play with it?
Him(No shock in the slightest): Sure, but here? In front of all these people?
Me: Um.. you’re right, not here.
We proceeded to another, slightly open but less crowded area. He tapped me from behind.
Him: Wait. I want something from you too.
Me: Huh? But..!Him: It’s all give and take babe, not just take, take. Right? So I’ll tell you what I want. (He bent forward to whisper in my right ear)
(My eyes grew wider, I couldn’t believe he was suggesting this!)
Me: That’s just impossible! I just can’t! It’s been forever since my last time.. I possibly can’t do it!
But he was determined. After almost 2 hours, we had both got what we wanted. It was a memorable day. Age gap didn’t matter anymore.
**************************************************************************************
I couldn’t hold the feeling anymore. I went downstairs, looking for him. He knew I’d been watching him everyday in the park now, and not-so-subtly at that. He seemed to acknowledge my presence, but I couldn’t be sure. I was going to find out today what he thought. No more subtlety, it was time go offensive.He had spotted me when I was still far away, and kept looking at me as I walked up to him. I thought I saw a faint smile spread across his face.

Me(slightly stammering): Hi, I think my roommate knows you and told you about me.
Him(looking amused): Yeah, she did. I think you wanted to talk me long before today, right?
(I blushed, he continued)Tell me..
Me: (Pointing down him where he was sitting, to his cute little puppy)- Can I play with it?
Him(No shock in the slightest): Sure, but here? In front of all these people?
Me: Um.. you’re right, not here. If it ends up biting me or chasing me all over the place, I’m gonna be so embarrassed!
We proceeded to another, slightly open but less crowded area. He tapped me from behind.
Him: Wait. I want something from you too.
Me: Huh? But..!Him: It’s all give and take didi, not just take, take. Right? So I’ll tell you what I want. (He bent forward to whisper in my right ear)
(My eyes grew wider, I couldn’t believe he was suggesting this!)
Me: That’s just impossible! I just can’t! It’s been forever since my last time.. I possibly can’t do it!
Him: Come on, just one game, didi! I know badminton is about the only sport in the world you’re good at.. your roommate told me! I have my own racket! Please didi!! If you don’t, I won’t let you play with my dog!
Me: Fine! Fine!

After almost 2 hours, we had both got what we wanted. He beat me in every single game, and I got my consolation prize- playing with his cute lil pup after that. The pup didn’t chase me around even! It was a memorable day. Age gap didn’t matter anymore. I think, I should socialize more with 15 year olds.

Screw you!! :D :D

Back after a much needed break. Funny how a simple task of blogging everyday can get so daunting. Anyway, another reason why I didn’t blog was ’cause I was mad. At a lot of things in general, but more so at the whole Mumbai ‘war’ episode. A LOT and more has been said/blogged/argued/etc about it, and I’m in no mood to spoil my blog by posting a fuming post, so I’d rather spoil it by telling you about the one fantasy I’ve had for long. Yes, I fanatsize about cussing and swearing and doing it like a pro.

You heard right. It’s not a trick statement. Of course, how difficult can it be to say an F or a B or an M or S word, right? Very. Trust me, if you were me, and saw the whole world take out their anger, frustration, desperation so easily, by uttering a simple swear word; and not be able to do so yourself, you’d understand the gravity of the situation. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t abuse. In fact, the situation’s so bad that I can’t even swear at a fictional foe when I’m alone in the room. Nope, tried a thousand times in front of the mirror, to get that angry look and that deadly tone and utter that forbidden F/B/M/S word- to no avail. All I can manage after these 24 years of existence is a ‘jerk’ and a ‘A-hole’. Sigh.

It’s not like am one of those ‘haw’ girls, you know the ones who go “Haw! He said F**k! What a dirty mouth!” The irony in my case is that I love swearing- when others do it. Especially females. I’m sure I’ll be considered a nutcase to be saying this, but there’s something very bold and beautiful about the whole female-swearing thing. Only I can’t do it. There was a time when I got so deperate to learn how to abuse people out loud that I asked a few of my guy friends to teach my curse-words in their native languages(now I know profanities in at least 5 different lingos)- the languages I don’t know. What I don’t understand won’t hurt(I never asked the meanings, only the pronunciations). The guys were absoultely delighted and amused.. they too wanted a change it seems. But the moment I uttered my first ever swear word out loud without any guilt- ‘hahhah.. how cute!’ and “I’d love to be cussed at everyday if you say it like this!” is the reaction I got. Seriously? Cute?! Why couldn’t I get the tone right? Why couldn’t they overlook the ‘cuteness’ of the tone and concentrate on what was being said and feel offended by it! It was a blow to my aspirations of evolving into a female hardcore dirty mouth and becoming an elite member of the one of the rarest clans left on this planet.

I dedicate this post to Les Grossman, the man who remains my idol, and inspires me to learn how to talk. One of my most favourite dialogues from his movie?- “Look, F**k-stick, I’m incredibly busy. So why don’t get the hell out of here before I snap your *ahem* and jam in into your *the synonym of human posterior*?”
What the eff!! I can’t even type it! What won’t I give to actually mouth these words.. once.. just once!! 😦