Aunty mat kaho na! (Don’t call me aunty, you moron!)

Years ago, this line was immortalized by a character (Pooja aunty?) in the baap of all sure-to-make-you-go-brain-dead-if-you-aren’t-already serials ‘Hum Paanch’. It might have sounded funny to so many people out there(including moi, although I hated every minute of the torturous serial type thing(yet never missed an episode)), who had absolutely no idea what Pooja aunty underwent every time those she-devils addressed her ‘aunty’. I feel with her today, after all these years. Because recently there have been more than a few times when I almost uttered this dialogue. Well almost.

 But it seems that being called an ‘aunty’ at 24 by those damn younglings isn’t an isolated case limited to only me. On at least 3 different occasions I have witnessed (and secretly laughed a laugh of relief inside) and/or have been informed in hushed tones by my girls of ‘what happened the other day’. Once, my roommate and I were in the elevator, riding down with a neighbour and her cute little toddler. Since my roommate is more than a couple years older than me, I suspect her maternal instincts arose all of a sudden on spotting the chubby cherub and she started all ‘gaga-googoo’ baby talk thing, complete with facial expressions to boot. All went well till we finally ‘landed’ and the baby’s mum (not using the forbidden ‘a’ word on purpose) asked the teeny tot to say bye to AUNTY. Suffice it to say that my roommate doesn’t socialize with babies any more. My logical explanation that technically she was more than 25 years older to the kid and that technically and relatively entitles her to be the kid’s aunty didn’t go down well with her. Oh well. 

Personally, I don’t react to these things anymore, probably because I’ve overcome the trauma. Yeah, my first tryst with the A-title took place more than 10 years ago, when I was barely a teen. I was passing by a house where youngER kids were playing ball and their ball rolled towards me. “Aunty, please pass the ball”- these were the words that haunted me for 10 years till recently when my friends started being openly addressed as the ‘elderly ladies’ in public. In front of me. Call me a sadist, but I really enjoy observing the girls’ expressions after the bomb has been dropped.

 But somehow, it all makes sense. Remember my post about how every damn thing you do is related to your karma? The whole aunty-mystery can be explained easily by this theory. And, it’s all coming back to me now. See, 4 years ago, we friends (yeah, the same girls who are all ‘aunties’ now) went to this garden restaurant for a treat. That fateful day, we addressed all the waiters there as.. wait for it.. ‘uncle’. I kid you not. It was a deliberate prank, we all enjoyed the waiters’ expressions, especially since most of them were hardly 5 years elder to us then. One of them even complained to his colleague in a most painful tone- “usne mujhe uncle bola! (she called me uncle!)” How had we laughed then. Today, the 1 year old babe in my building is having the last laugh. Hardy har har.


A dabeli on the roadside vendor’s place- Rs. 5

Expression on being called aunty by the dabeli seller- Priceless.



7 thoughts on “Aunty mat kaho na! (Don’t call me aunty, you moron!)

  1. Oh, this happens to me too, I am gonna be 24 this november, and some of the kids have started calling me ‘uncle’..damn! these kids.:-(. But unlike you, I do tell their mums ( in most cases, someone I know) to teach them to not call me as ‘uncle’ for god sake!

  2. @pranith- It’s as good as suggesting someone to commit suicide since we all will die some day other or the other. Why wait,eh?

    @Chikki- We MUST keep our distance from kids and their moms till the time we actually reach the uncle-aunt stage.

    @Virus- Please refer to the english version of the post title above for reply.

  3. ew, that is such a bad analogy. A better one would be that you can’t refuse death when it arrives, not commit suicide. I am not asking you to print a business card with ‘aunty’ on it. That would be suicide 😛

  4. tell u what! when i was in college ppl used to ask where r u working..

    now ppl ask which college i study in! heheee….

    btw its k auntieji.. hota hai! 😛

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