How selfish are you? Me, I’m selective.. but when I do select a particular thing to be selfish about, boy, can I be mean or what. And strangely, I am not possessive about the usual things, the common things. Like, I don’t care if my crush is close to my best friend and hardly acknowledges my presence, or if my mom loves my brother more(she doesn’t.. it’s just an example. Note to self- call ma and confirm.) or if Robert Downey Jr. is seeing some stupid dumb blondie. I love him nonetheless.. and I leave him alone. I mean, the guy is all grown up, he should have a hot GF.. it’s just his misfortune he doesn’t know me yet. Er.. ah.. so, to sum it up, I’m not selfish about people. Nope, I’m very materialistic. I love and am extremely possessive about small small things, maybe even inexpensive things.. things that are dispensable, re-buyable and often unimportant. A few examples-
1) My coffee mug. No, it ain’t a gift, nor is it some pretty and round and cute little piece of china. On the contrary, it’s your typical Nescafe red-coloured mug that’s able to hold barely enough coffee. But, I have to.. HAVE to drink every single cuppa from it, and if anyone as much as even touches it, I get all twitchy and panicky. Once, my roommate’s mom came over and she wanted to have tea. Obviously, as my luck goes, just at the moment I was going to hide my mug somewhere, she spotted it and wait for it.. ‘drank’ from it. She’d made tea for me as well, but I waited till she was done, and then washed my mug and had my cold tea. From MY mug.
2) Food. Any food I love, you’re not welcome to share. ‘Joey doesn’t share food’, and nor do I. I mean, why in the world everyone seems to want to ‘have a bite’, or ‘taste a bit’ or ‘just try’ the exact same thing as I am having?! You like Ferrero’s? I’ll buy two boxes, one for you, one for me. I’m not stingy. It’s not about money. It’s about parting with something that I LOVE. Not done. And it’s not restricted to any chocolate or such.. hell, people have wanted to share my vegetables- RAW veggies- when I’m having em. To elaborate- I love green peas, the ones in a pod. I love to take them out of their pod and eat them raw. Who’d even think people would wanna try that! But yep, you guessed right. While I was at it once, my ex-roommate actually came up and asked me if she could have a few. A few became half a kilo. Then she even helped herself to my share of raw cauliflower. I would’ve eaten her raw if she were in a pod. Damn food snatchers!
3) Books. The ONLY conditions on which I’ll share my awesome novel collection with you are-
a> I have a secret crush on you and want to interact more with you on the pretext of exchanging books.
b> I got the book as a gift from someone I don’t care about and the book is in a pathetic condition anyway.
c> I have already read the book a million times and I’m damn sure a million-and-one time is not happening.
d> You have a offer I can’t refuse.(I’m talking book exchange, dodo)
Other than that, I’m always going to refuse, and in a way that you wouldn’t even realize I’m turning your request down. Ha.
4) My expensive tops that don’t fit me anymore. I might share them, I might lend them, I might even give them away for free.. but trust me, it would always hurt like hell.. to part away with MY tops.
5) My guitar. Before you get all impressed on hearing about me having a guitar, lemme tell you I can’t play it. I’v e had it for almost 3 years now, and all I do is drag it alongwith me whenever I change flats. I know I’ll never learn it, for more reasons than one, but when my cousin asked me if he could keep it for a while, I gave him a look that could’ve burnt him alive. Let it rust and wither away, but no one dare touch it, geddit?
Following items add to this list but do not complete it-My teddy, my comb, my kohl pencil, my nailpaint, my nailpaint remover, my cellphone, my blanket, my Ducati poster.
Anything other than the ones mentioned above can be safely asked to be shared/borrowed. In case I still raise an eyebrow, it might be ’cause of habit.. I do it so many times a day, what with everyone in the world wanting this or that from me. Go buy your own red mug, you cheapo!