Fear of the crash…

I’m living in a perpetual fear of the ‘crash’. Last time my comp crashed, it took it 2 months and a few thousand bucks to come back to the ‘alive, but barely’ state. And just 10 minutes back, when it just blacked-out again, I almost cried. And very strangely, the first thought that came to my mind was, (no, not the pending assignment) “How will I complete my NaBlo challenge now!” Yep, in all honesty, I’m trying my best to see, at least THIS time, the challenge through.

Funny thing, the second thought that came to my mind was, (again, not of the pending assignment!) “I should plant a tree.” As weirdly plain as that. The only plausible explanation of this seriously arbitrary bit of thought is the sapling I saw a half hour back when I went to the classroom for some work. But really, did it impact my sub-conscious so much that during a crunch situation like the one I just faced, it would be the second thought to cross my mind?

Green no more…

The virtual world never ceases to amaze me. For more than a decade, I’ve been getting pleasantly surprised by the potential uses of this space that are endless, and so, so incredible. I owe the internet many great things that’ve happened to me,  and (only) a very few bad memories. But what the net gave me today is so special, yet so simple, I’m sure I’ll smile every single time looking back at this particular day- dil ke taar hila diye yaar

It’s almost as if by some supra mundane power’s influence, on this fateful day of August 5th, I’ve found a reason to look forward to living the coming months in that teen-like glee. Suddenly, things are falling into place, and I’m feeling more certain than ever that the clouds are going to part soon. Of course, there’s always an off-chance that things might not turn out the way at all I’m expecting them too, but then, I’ll never regret feeling so relieved, so excited, so unsure of the final outcome and yet being so unusually optimistic.

All sounds like riddle right now, I’m sure. I’m myself dying to see how this mystery unfolds. To all those people whose life is much simpler and devoid of suspense- I don’t envy you

Exo

This short post is dedicated to ‘Exo’- my green colored liquid ‘dish shine’, that cost me only 19 bucks when I’d bought it a year ago and is still one-third left. It has, time and again, come to my tea-mug’s rescue and has helped clean its bacteria/yeast/mould/whatever infected, stale, frozen, tea/coffee remnants with incredible effectiveness.

For time is the luxury I can’t afford, being an MBA student and all that (COUGH! Sorry, allergy), it so happens at times(read, MOST times), that I just can’t finish all the tea and have to postpone the mug cleaning to a later day. Usually, that later ‘day’ becomes ‘week’, and then ‘weeks’ and then.. you know, ‘things’ grow in the mug. But for Exo, I’d have thrown all those mugs out.

You’re my lean, green, disgusting froth killing machine, Exo! May you clean my mess up for as long as you live!

Feeling Green…

… because:

1. Naruto owns awesomeness, and

2. Hiccup has Toothless

While the only two reasons to live(I can think of) have been divided between these two, isn’t my bitterness justified? EVERYTIME I think about Toothless, I CRY. Have you ever seen a dragon so perfect, that makes you just wanna die on its saddle, while it’s ‘taking you for a ride’? Seriously, I’m ready to sacrifice one limb and my MBA degree if someone can please buy me a dragon so to-die-for. And, er, an iota of Naruto’s awesomeness, perhaps?

Go… Green…

Yep, that’s almost exactly what I told the devil of a bumblebee (“Go die, you green devil!”) who stumbled into our room today evening. As if on cue, it tottered into the loo and died in the commode. Which is when I realized that there were more of its clan members who’d followed my command before I’d even given it, and already gone and drowned themselves into the commode.

Life would have been so much easier if people also paid attention to my ‘Go… green…’ command.

Na Na Karte…

And… I’m back. On NaBlo. And very sure I won’t be here too long. And this ‘surety’ is derived out of knowledge and not pessimism.

So this month’s theme is green. To the uninitiated, I have to post on my blog every single day of this month, around this theme. Which shouldn’t be too difficult since there are plenty of things I can relate to the word green. Like, trees. Or jealousy. The hulk. Hey.. and grinch. So well, I ain’t scared of running out of things to talk about here; I’m terrified about running away myself, far from the reach of my laptop! I won’t be in town the coming weekend, and hence, I’ve failed NaBlo already. Maybe I’ll post in advance or something. But as for now, something green. Hmm.

My towel is green, with black kajal splotches. I hope this counts.

The Bucket-List

After two months of lying in coma, my poor laptop’s come back home to mama. How I spent these two months, looking at my comatose darling all these days, taking it to doctors all over the town, waiting for weeks on end to hear from them about my poor baby’s prospects of revival- no one will ever know. To add insult to injury, I had to resort to taking help from others, friends, nonetheless, but still, others. The days of self-sufficiency seemed so distant, my morale had never been lower; I’d never been more on someone else’s mercy like I had everyday, for the last two months.

Though the tough times are past, and I get to hold my sweetheart in my arms again, I can’t dismiss this nagging fear that the tumor will grow back. And if it does, this time it might be malignant. Time’s always too short to take it for granted. And therefore, I’ve started making a list of all those things my lappy-poo and I will be doing together till a motherboard crash does us apart. From now on, whatever little or more time we have left together, I will make sure we’re always together, doing great things together.

I’m making the bucket-list, for my laptop.

Thanks, but no thanks.

The irony is, you seldom acknowledge and appreciate the people and things that are ALWAYS there for you; it’s those people and things that you don’t expect to happen to you that leave their mark.

The goodness of the constants in your life pales in comparison to the shock/present surprise value of the ‘new’ things.

The  ’you’re awesome’ from a close friend is just blah; a ‘you’re passable’ from a stranger is the best compliment ever.

How wrong is it, to give in to the temptation of belittling all the genuineness of the known people while lapping up a fake/half-hearted/perhaps true compliment from the stranger? And how easy it is then, to thank these always-have-been-there-and-always-will-be-there people from heart, EVERY SINGLE TIME?

I’m still trying to figure out the answers, ’cause I’m the ‘you’ here.

The Ultimatum.

The thing most heartbreaking is not failures, not separations, nor global warming. It’s watching the most pathetic celluloid adaption of your most beloved books/anime series. Mere (extremely disappointing) reviews of some such movies have affected my ‘impressionable young mind’ indescribably, and have left me heartbroken even when I have not watched these movies myself. How could I, after all, when I am still recuperating from the bad review induced heartbreak? When I’m still nursing my near-fatal injuries inflicted upon by these horrific adaptations, when I’m still trying to soothe my wounded heart and giving it hope in vain? As if the Twilight series wasn’t a kick in my face hard enough, M. Night Fuckin’ Shyamalan comes along and spoils my second most favorite anime series of all times- The Last Airbender. No, I’ve NOT seen it, I’m not reviewing it. I don’t have the heart to. Not after the disastrous casting I came to know of through IMDB. Really? Dev Patel as Zuko? Really?? I can’t go on talking about this could-have-been-as-awesome-if-not-more ‘movie’. Do the world a favor, M. Night Fuckin’ Shyamalan, go die. Slowly and painfully.

I’m without hope these days. I’m distraught. I’m the damsel in severe distress, waiting for my k’night’ in shining armor, aka ‘Inception’ to come along this weekend and save me. But if someone as much as tries making a non-animated Naruto movie AND doesn’t do it justice, don’t think even ‘Inception’ kind of movies can do damage control and then ‘someone’s gonna get a hurt real bad’. You know what, oh M. Night Fuckin’ Shyamalans of the world? Don’t even dare try touching my Naruto-kun.

The Nightmare

I woke up last night. It was pitch black. It was the kind of darkness I’d never experienced before- so complete and so frightening. It was incredible, the way I felt lost in that total darkness. I wanted to look over to my roommates, to see them sleep noiselessly in their own beds, take comfort from that knowledge, and go back to sleep. Yet, it was impossible to do so. There was not a ray of light around. I had no way of being sure if I was in my familiar surroundings anymore, if I was around familiar people anymore. It was scary, it was terribly lonely, and horribly depressing. I wanted to call out to my roommates to make sure they were still there. But it was a silly idea of course. What was I to say, after I woke them up?- “I’m scared”?

I lay down on my bed for a long time, staring at nothingness. It was like being trapped in Tousen’s bankai, only that I could at least hear. I heard myself breathing. But strangely, I heard only me. My roommates sure slept soundly. I felt this sinking feeling growing in my chest.. I was ALONE. I was very positive about the presence of monsters under my bed. I was paralyzed with fear and no matter how badly I wanted to get up and feel my way over to my nearest roommate, I couldn’t move. It was the worst feeling anyone could ever experience. It was the worst feeling ‘I’ had ever experienced. And then suddenly, in some twisted way, I was at peace. I felt that odd calm I’d never felt- life had always had some sound around me. Things and people were always loud, always making noise and never leaving me alone. At that point in time, I perhaps got that one subconscious wish I didn’t know I had made- to be left alone.

I’m yet to wake up.